I've got a leech on my head

So, I found out about two weeks ago that I will be, at some point in the reasonably near future be heading down to Philadelphia to live somewhere near the vicinity of center city.
Note the words 'some point' and 'somewhere.' There's a whole mess of undetermined variables in this equation, and you know I'm not that good at math to begin with. But I suppose you could say it's a bit more comforting knowing at least I know the name of the city I'm eventually going to live in and what I'll be doing there... that being ministry. And making art... hopefully. Abraham didn't even know that much when God told him to hike out. So I've got something going for me, right?

Yet, there are so many leeches that have decided to try to attatch themselves to me... by leeches, I mean worries or fears. Those nasty little things that creep in out of nowhere and then they just don't go away as quickly as you'd like. Let me name a few of these leeches.
- I've never lived in a city before.
- I don't really know anyone in Philadelphia. And yet, that's not entirely true. Tony will be there, Rubens (whom I don't know well at all, but feel like I do), and Barbara will likely be living with me.
- I have to find a new church - scary, because I'm sad to leave my family church here. And, I have a feeling it will be a BIG church. Mine's tiny!
- Am I really supposed to be in Philly?
- Am I going to survive?
- Being in a community of real artists is going to be intimidating like crazy.

Now I know that despite these kinds of concerns, they're really nothing to worry about. I mean, really. When I sit back to consider it, these kinds of things are just because I've never done anything like this before, it's all going to be one huge new experience, and yeah that's going to be intimidating. All new things are intimidating, right? But while these leeches are kind of attatched, the good news is that they're not sucking the life out of me. I'm still very excited about moving to Philadelphia to work with students and all that jazz. I'm excited to be able to just go to the art museum if I want and not make a huge trip out of it. I'm excited to be able to go to the Reading Terminal Market now and then instead of once or twice a year. I'm excited to be exposed to the art community of Philly. Well, the museum and the Terminal Market are just nice bonuses... the students and the art community thing are really what excites me the most.
So, there really are some AWESOME things that are going to be happening and God's going to do some pretty sweet things. I expect it. I expect to be challenged and stretched, and hey- that's a GOOD thing!

Other than my mixed-bag-reaction to Philadelphia, I've also been finding it a little difficult to be motivated to do things. I need to be working on writing letters and phone calls and stuff, and this whole CCO stuff seems eons away still. I think once it hits me, I'll get my act together.
Also, I've been frustrated in not making art.. I really think that the environment of my house is just flat out not conducive to making art sometimes. I get distracted by everything. Nevermind the fact that I think working at Panera during the day just makes me want to veg-out when I get home and wasting time on the computer. I need to stop that.

So... that's what's going on in my crazy little world right now. I desperately want to make some art... maybe I'll sketch something out... or stretch a canvas over the stretchers I got... finally... or maybe do something with that blasted self-portrait I hate so much. And maybe I'll continue listening to Christmas music, because it's pretty chipper and I'm digging it right now.