Buzzing Brain Bees

I realized a problem that I have.
It's not that I neglected my note about surrealism (which I WILL get back to sometime in the near future... I hope).
Rather, this has to do with my habits of book buying and book reading. I'm not exactly what you would call a highly intellectual person (really, I'm not) but I will readily admit that I like information. I enjoy learning and discovering things... even though I'm not really discovering something that hasn't already been found before. Most of the books that I own are, in some format or another, about Christian growth. Some are about art. Some of them are about theology. Only a few are fiction - which, isn't that terribly ironic? a person fueled on creativity doesn't read that which is creative?
I haven't quite figured out why I'm like this. I enjoy fictional books, I just don't read them that often, at least not since I became a Christian. Since I became a follower of the Savior of the world, nearly all of my energy and focus has been discovering what exactly it means to be a follower of the Savior of the world.

It's like this insatiable thirst to find out answers to these questions: Who am I in Christ? What does it mean to be a Christian? What do I believe about the Bible? What do I believe about God? How does the Spirit work within me? ... etc. I want to know and I want to understand, and in turn I want to share that information with others.

Half of the books I own that help me traverse such questions, however, are waiting to be read. I am a slow reader. I like to digest words on paper, savoring sentences -- and sometimes things are harder to swallow than others. And yet, although I have all these other books left unread, I persist in buying more before I'm done with the others. I'm prepping myself for the day I'll be able to read the other books, I guess. I don't know.

Perhaps you could say that I'm a collector of applicable information... but that makes it sound more fancy than it needs to be. This is only part of my problem, though. Perhaps not even the bigger part of the problem.
I mean, I just like to learn things.
That means is that I have a lot of little random things buzzing around in my brain. These are anything from that which is inconsequential and not really that big of a deal... to what little I know about theology and Biblical text. Although it seems like a lot in some ways, in other ways I also know that what I know is not a lot. I've had my healthy share of feeling as dumb as a brick (especially when it comes to those common-knowledge, common sense kind of things).. I'm not a brainiac. I just like to tear things apart and try to figure them out.
There's always something more to learn. There's always something else to dig into, process, and store away for some use or another. And someone is always going to know more than I do about things. It's just a fact of life.

The reason why all of this is the second part of my problem is that I don't keep things - as Scott would say - "simple."

I over-think and complicate things that don't need to be over-thought or complicated. This is particularly true with spiritual issues, the Bible, and theology.
Let's bring up an example fresh out of the oven: today and yesterday was spent at Regional Staff Seminar for training. The topic: Biblical Application. Now, I was thinking one thing going into the seminar - that I was going to learn more about the Bible itself - and came out carrying something totally different. Pastor Dean Trulear was our speaker (and was phenomenal by the way) and one the biggest point about our time together was that we have the tendancy to take the Bible and see all the principles... While totally missing the Person. I know that the Bible is designed as not only a manual for life, but also as a means to get to know the Creator... but you know what, I think I tend to focus a heck of a lot more on the Manual part, and the informational part, that I don't always hear God's voice in the text.
I need to get back to seeking the seeking the relationship rather than the information.
So while my hunger and thirst to learn is probably a great thing, it's also my pitfall. Oh that the Lord would teach me how to balance it!

Keeping it simple is a lot harder than what it sounds like. At least, that's my perspective, as the person who over-thinks things. I'll see an issue that I could just simply trust that God knows how to handle, and try to figure out all the ways my hands are going to get dirty by meddling with the situation. I think about the things that could happen afterward. I think about how it might affect the way people think about me, or other such ridiculous things.
Come to think of it, when I over-think things, there's a common theme: me. It's all about me and my little world and how a situation is going to affect my little world; or how it disrupts my ideas about spirituality, theology, or life.

Dang.
It sucks when you realize how self-centered (or self-perserving) you can be in your own head.
But anyway.

Simple. Because I'm such an information-hog, let's see what we can find out about that word itself: humble, easy to understand/deal with, inornate, common or ordinary, naive, natural, unassuming.... and a handful of others. Thank you, Dictionary.com.
When I think of 'keeping it simple,' in regards to my relationship with God, I think of child-like faith. ... Knowledge and learning are not bad things. But, clearly I can understand how they complicate things when trying to trust God. Another way to put it is to say that I need to put my hope in God.
I need to open up my hands, stop clenching the issues that I keep complicating, and allow God to take care of it. ...And not just allow Him to do it, but also acknowledging God's faithfulness in all things. "I don't know what's going on, but I know that God does, and that's enough for me." It's not tossing what I know out the window or checking my brain at the door. By no means. But... perhaps it means that I need to submit my knowledge to my Creator, knowing that He knows all things and I don't.

I don't know. I think my thoughts are starting to pull at the seams.
"I still have the heart of a seeker, but I need the faith of a child." Supertones, you're speaking my language.

Blog, there's so much more that I would like to write about. Other things and thoughts that have nothing to do with my problem of sucking up information like a sponge.... which really isn't a proper image, since a lot of the information ends up falling out. Maybe I'm like an information bucket.
Right. I have bigger fish to fry than this.