Towers

When I was thinking about writing a journal entry earlier today, the notion to write about 9/11 never occurred to me. Just about half an hour ago, though, I finished watching a documentary on CBS about an FDNY fire station that two frenchmen compiled. I came about half way into it; turns out that the frenchmen were filming when 9/11 happened, and of course they caught every move this fire station made. One was in the first tower nearly the whole time; the other (they are brothers) was at the fire station when everything started happening. Over all, with interviews from the men from that station recounting that day, the documentary was hard to watch.

It's crazy to think about, that something so devastating only happened five years ago... our country hasn't been the same since, perhaps even the world. For example, less than a month ago, I was at a friends apartment playing Family Feud on old school NES..one of the surveys was to name the worlds tallest sky scrapers. After my friend listed many I would have never thought of, I gave it some thought... The World Trade Center came to mind, and it was one of those on the list.

I have never been the same since.
Looking back at an old Live Journal entry, I'm amazed. I'd forgotten that a few nights prior I had a dream about two buildings being bombed; but now with that entry recorded for me to look back on, I remember the dream fairly well... they were two malls and I was trying to get all of my friends out. I don't think I managed to do so.
9/11 happened while I wasn't yet a Christian, and I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to feel. I remember much of that morning pretty clearly. I'm 22 years old and I know that it is one of the most memorable days of my life. As the LJ entry says, I didn't think much of it at first, but as the day wore on, the more and more I felt the affects. I was shaken up inside, and wounded for those who had lost someone they knew. The first song that came to my mind was the opening of a U2 song: Sunday Bloody Sunday:

"I can't believe the news today;
I can't close my eyes and make it go away..."

Different subject, but those words could not have rung any more true with me.

Quite a contrast with Columbine.... when Columbine happened I didn't care and figured the kids who died in that deserved it anyway. Yeah, I was pretty cold-hearted. But when 9/11 rolled around, I ached. I wanted a hug. I wanted to go home.
It was the first night I prayed in years, if really at all. While I was only just becoming familiar with the one true God, I knew that whatever God was, whoever God was--if he even existed--God was the only thing I knew to turn to plead for the lives of the people affected by the attack, that they would have some kind of comfort. I wanted to embrace those affected and hold them close. I even wanted to be held onto by someone.
What saddens me about looking back at those journal entries is the fact that the following days were uplifting because a certain boy seemed to have taken an interest in me. If you're bored and want a peek at my high-school past, feel free to wander those entries. But I suppose it's well enough- that boy brought a curiosity about Christ out of me. Join that with the events and confusion about 9/11, and you see where my faith-journey began. It wasn't until a month later that I embraced Jesus as my Savior.

It makes me curious now... I think out of all of the friends that I have that I met at college, and I don't think there's one of them who I've asked about 9/11, or even talked about 9/11 with outside of sharing my testimony. I suppose that's from not having it constantly on my mind; though perhaps I just don't want to talk about it or subject anyone else to talk about it.
It's funny thinking about Before and After as well, especially in regard to the War on Terrorism. I do wonder, 'Are we really that much safer than we were before?' Well, honestly, probably not. God is the guy in charge, and if the devil wants to do something to humankind he has to first get permission from the Boss. It's crazy to think about it that way, especially in context of 9/11, but look at the story of Job. I would hope that it wouldn't shed a terrible light on the Lord of all the earth, because I love Him... but I can see how some people would be turned off to the slightest suggestion that terrible events are still within the control of God. What kind of loving God would allow something so awful to happen?
I could only wish to know how to answer that sort of question, besides suggesting that Yahweh does things for His glory. And even that answer isn't satisfactory; it raises a cry of, "How can a loving God be so selfish?" If I were God, I could answer that for you. But, because I am not at all like God in my fallen human nature, I cannot. It's probably better for us all that I am not a god... I'm sure many out there would agree.
Ecclesiastes sheds a little bit of light on the subject, at least. Check out chapter 3, verses 1 to 8:

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

There's a time for everything... the cycles of life - good and bad - are not unknown to God. 9/11 was not unknown to Him and it's not like He wasn't paying attention for something terrible to happen. So... really... ultimately I don't think America is all that much safer. I do think that the world at large is a bit more alert, and that perhaps some folks in America are a bit paranoid. Some people in authority have made grave mistakes since then.
But, if 9/11 did not happen, would the recent event in England every have been prevented? Or, because 9/11 did happen, was it just a copy-cat attempt? We may never know... perhaps it's not even important that we know. Rather than being 'safer,' a better phrase is that 'we are more prepared.' There are folks know how to handle natural disasters; maybe we really have been moving into an era in which we need to be prepared for unnatural disasters in which the planes no longer carry weapons but thought to be weapons of mass destruction in and of themselves.

Perhaps I am beginning to run down a rabbit trail. Many other thoughts tangent off of this subject. Example: President Bush and how the world hates him. While I make no active effort to be political in any shape or form, one thing is for certain: we sure don't have a whole lot of grace for a guy that's just as sin-soaked as the rest of us. But then again, I know we feel the room to be so cynical because he is supposed to be the leader. Must suck knowing that half the country is against you, though. There are certain things that make me favor Bush more than others, but I'll be honest, he and everyone else sure do make it hard to keep him in favor.
Like I said, tangent... huge tangent, since I usually avoid the political end of things. It's all a game I don't want to get tangled up in. But I bring up that tangent in particular because Bush was the one who was in office during 9/11. To cut him out of the picture entirely would leave for an image full of holes.
The other rabbit trail that comes to mind is End Times.
There's a quote I kind of like, despite its tragic outlook on life: Every day brings us one step closer to death. Seems kind of obvious. Perhaps just as obvious is that ever since the Fall, we've been ever closer to the End Times than we were before the Fall. But why worry about the End Times, in the sense of wondering when it's going to happen? When it starts happening, you'll know. Till then, enjoy life--no, better yet, embrace life.

Alas, I have rambled quite a bit more than I intended. When you find yourself talking about things that aren't necessarily connected to the main topic, you know you've said too much.

Y