I realize I keep saying this...

But there is much to say, much that has been exhausting my energies in all kinds of ways. In the meantime, snapshots of recent artings. Pardon the crummy editing work, I used my cell phone. I need to find someone who can take more professional photos for me.. Hmmm..

The first is completed, the second is just in the very beginning stages. A nod to Rubens for some of the visual inspiration.

Chasing Cars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

-- Snow Patrol

There's a lot that I can say right now, about life and observations and self-reflections, but now is not the time. I have to brave the brisk chilly air and take care of business (and pray it doesn't encourage a cold!).

Same-sex weddings and first graders

First Graders Taken to San Francisco City Hall For Gay Wedding

Contact: Chip White, 916-215-4392, 916-446-2587; Sonja Eddings Brown, 818-993-4508; both with Protect Marriage

SAN FRANCISCO, October 11 /Christian Newswire/ -- In the same week that the No on 8 campaign launched an ad that labeled as "lies" claims that same-sex marriage would be taught in schools to young children, a first grade class took a school-sponsored trip to a gay wedding. Eighteen first graders traveled to San Francisco City Hall Friday for the wedding of their teacher and her lesbian partner, The San Francisco Chronicle reported. The school sponsored the trip for the students, ages 5 and 6, taking them away from their studies for the same-sex wedding. According to the Yes on 8 campaign, the public school field trip demonstrates that the California Supreme Court's decision to legal same-sex marriage has real consequences.

"Taking children out of school for a same-sex wedding is not customary education. This is promoting same-sex marriage and indoctrinating young kids," said Yes on 8—ProtectMarriage.com Campaign Co-Manager Frank Schubert. "I doubt the school has ever taken kids on a field trip to a traditional wedding," Schubert said.

When asked by the Yes on 8 campaign, The San Francisco Chronicle reporter said she did not know if the school had ever sponsored a field trip for students to a traditional wedding. Telling the Chronicle that the field trip was "a teachable moment," the school's principal believes it is perfectly appropriate for first graders to attend a same-sex wedding. Officials in other school districts disagree.

"Prop. 8 protects our children from being taught in public schools that 'same-sex marriage' is the same as traditional marriage," said Santa Ana Unified School District board member Rosemarie "Rosie" Avila. "We should not accept a court decision that results in public schools teaching our kids that gay marriage is okay. That is an issue for parents to discuss with their children according to their own values and beliefs. It shouldn't be forced on us against our will," Avila added.

-- What's ironic about this statement is that it exposes a duplicity in our society. We leave lifestyle choices of religion left to be discussed at home according to our own values and beliefs, but some schools are choosing to teach this lifestyle choice that otherwise should be discussed at home? Whether you're for or against it doesn't matter. Why are first graders being taught about marriage (same-sex or not) in school in the first place? I don't recall ever learning anything about marriage in school at all. -- Yvonne

The lesbian teacher's wedding was officiated by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. Newsom is featured in a Yes on 8 television ad, released last week, in which he arrogantly declares of same-sex marriage: "The door's wide open now. It's gonna happen, whether you like it or not."

The Yes on 8 campaign's ads explain that if the voters do not overturn the California Supreme Court's same-sex marriage ruling, teachers will be required to teach young children that there is no difference between gay marriage and traditional marriage.

"It's totally unreasonable that a first grade field trip would be to a same-sex wedding," said Chip White, Press Secretary for Yes on 8. "This is overt indoctrination of children who are too young to understand it."

The trip underscores the Yes on 8 campaign's message that unless Prop. 8 passes, children will be taught about same-sex marriage in public schools. "Not only can it happen, it has already happened," White said.

One more thing, unrelated

So the election is coming up and as a undecided/non-aligned voter, it's a tough call for me. There are things I like about both candidates and there are things I don't like about both candidates. As I was discussing with a friend the other day, it's like picking the lesser of the two evils (which is not to say that there is evil involved on either side, but you know what I mean).

What really turns me off is when my fellow yet D or R aligned voters get hostile about their candidates. It's one thing to be passionate about supporting your side, it's an entirely other thing to mudsling and verbally abuse. This is what I hate about governmental politics and up to this point has turned me off to being interested at all. This is also one reason why I choose to register under neither side. Whoever would be president, God only knows -- but somebody is always going to be unhappy about the final outcome. But this election is the first time I've bothered to watch the debates and try to follow the election, since I'm tired of the vomit that comes out of people about McCain or Obama... and with the potential of maybe having a kid towards the end of the next president's term I'd like to have a little insight and more informed choice about what we'd have to face.

But anyway. I'm done and still trying to figure it out.

To the Weary, From the Wearied

Lately, I've been tired.

The tiredness is not just in the sleeping sense, although I have noticed my sleep hasn't been as restful as it could be because I've had some pretty bizarre dreams. Such as: a middle aged man trying to kill me; a plot in which my best-friend and I and others would be kidnapped and used as guinea pigs (although we were saved by my hubby); aliens that hunt women; and others. Aside from those dreams I've slept OK, just not enough.

I'm tired mentally since I've probably been a lot more stressed than I really even realize. Actually, it's only been since the other day that I was at all willing to admit that I'm stressed out at all. But when I started getting morose in my times alone I realized, "Hey, wait a second. This isn't normal." My legs hurt, my eyes and throat hurts, my whole body sometimes feels like it's stretched out like a piece of bubble-gum. Yet for everything that is stressing me out, I know in my head that God has a counter balance to it.

Finances are tight. God is providing for us every day.
I just started a part-time job in addition to my current job. This can connect me to my community and neighborhood.
Scott and my schedules are out of whack. It'll be okay and it can get worked out.
I miss my friends from 'back home.' God has provided new, wonderful people in my life to connect with.
I feel like I'm pouring out my energy and not being poured into. God can restore me regardless.

I guess you could say that all these things require patience and trust. It just feels like a lot of things in my life are in upheaval right now and any time that happens I'm just never really sure what to do. I know what I ought to do: seek peace and joy in the Lord. But I've noticed that this is horribly difficult for me to put into practice. I can read all I want about Sabbath, and know as much as I can about Sabbath, but does any of it mean anything at all if I don't actually DO it...?

One thing I can trust, though, is that I know instinctively that everything is going to be alright. I continually remind myself of this, even when it's painful to do so and I feel like throwing my hands up and defiantly say, "I QUIT." And it's never about anything specific.

The other day Scott was praying for us and said something about asking God for strength. As if a light bulb went on when he prayed that, I realized that I needed to be asking for strength every day - how simple! When Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest," I could imagine that would also mean stop using all my own energies to do things and accept His energy and strength to do things. If I really sit and think about it, though, a lot of my energy is used up in worrying. No wonder I'm so exhausted; worry is a beast that is never satiated. It's more like an animal with a black hole for a mouth, sucking in every life circumstance it can. To combat that I need the kind of strength that is beyond any human comprehension. I'm not Xena Warrior Princess (although that would be pretty sweet).

I've lost my train of thought... but what I suppose my point is, is that I need some time to just sit and breathe and not worry. I hope I can take a trip out of the city for at least a few hours and take a time-out in nature.

Matthew 11:28,29

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - Jesus


Come all you weary with your heavy loads
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind
I’ll take yours upon me and you can take mine

Come all you weary, move through the earth,
You've been spurned at fine restaurants and kicked out of church;
I’ve got a couple of loaves, so sit down at my feet,
lend me your ears and we'll break bread and eat

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Come all you weary, crippled you lay
I’ll help you along you can lay down your canes
We’ve got a long way to go but we’ll travel as friends
The lights growing bright further up, further in

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls

Rest for your souls

Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Come all you weary
Come gather round near me
Find rest for your souls
Rest for your souls
Rest for your souls

- Thrice - Come all you weary


... More to come later.