Saturday, January 26, 2013

Don't Take Politcal Anger Out On Hair

It isn't often that I come across a photo meme that makes me have any kind of response other than being amused, for ill or good. However, today while breezing through my Facebook news feed (the bane of any kind of valuable time), I came across the image below, shared from a Republican friend through a right-wingers group lauding the image as accurate.



Now, as I have stated in previous posts, I'm politically independent; I am not keen on pledging allegiance to a political party. What upsets me about this image actually has nothing to do with what I think about President Obama and his presidency, and everything to do with the snide "Fake Hair," the ignorance of white people, and putting women in a box. It has me in such a mental fit that I felt I needed to get it out there in a blog post.

I'm about as white as you can get when it comes to skin tones, thanks to some Irish heritage somewhere in there, so I've been told. You can literally see veins through my skin on my arms and legs if you're looking close enough. I noticed this one day (to my horror) when I was shaving my legs. My version of tan is laughable, and for the most part concentrates into wonderful freckles on my face and shoulders during the summer. My hair fair and it is not thick; getting it to stay in some kind of real curl is nearly impossible but I can manage some slight waves naturally. All of that is to say that I don't have any experience being dark skinned or have thick, textured hair. But I do have a few friends who do. And I live in a city where you can find all kinds of hair products that tailor to all kinds of hair-types, products I had never seen when I was living in the suburbs.

The first thing about this image that comes to mind is, what does Michele Obama's hair have do with the quality of presidency or anything to do with politics at all? It seems to suggest that if you have fake hair, you are not a quality person. It's an unfair attack on a woman, and an unfair attack on the First Lady -- which I can't really think of anyone doing except when it came to that whole Clinton cheating fiasco.

Secondly, this seems to really come down to white-ignorance. Michele has had a lot of different hair styles, and I don't think it has anything to do with wigs and everything to do with having the resources to do different things with her hair. From what I've read and heard from friends, African-American hair takes a LOT of work to maintain, especially if you want it straight. About two years ago, I went with an African friend to get her hair done (she was born and raised in South Africa and came here for college, and stayed). She was getting the twists in her hair re-done, since they had grown out quite a bit. I have to tell you, the whole process looked painful and tiring, since took a long time. I also had helped the same friend get ready for her wedding, and she showed me how she puts natural oils in her hair to keep it nice, and we put her twists into rollers to make them curly instead of straight.

I briefly had co-worker who would openly admit that she wore wigs and they were so beautiful, I didn't even know it until she told me! For all the work and effort that goes into maintaining, I don't blame any woman who would rather opt for a wig. So to go on and basically attack Michele Obama for wearing a wig (though I don't think she even did), you may as well attack every woman who chooses to do so. Or better yet, get educated about African-American hair.

Another issue that this brings in for me is the idea that if you don't fit a certain image of a woman, you aren't good enough. Why is it that African-American women straighten their hair in the first place? Certainly, some women like it, for the same sorts of reasons that a white woman with ultra curly hair may want to straighten it out once in a while. But, I have to wonder, how much does it have to do with just not feeling pretty enough? An African-American friend of mine was very candid once, in admitting that she didn't feel pretty growing up because all the beautiful women she saw in the media - TV, the news, advertisements, etc - had either pale Anglo-Saxon skin or pale-as-you-can-get African American skin; and their hair was not coarse like her's was. I had never noticed this before, until I was watching some TV station that was tailored more towards the African American community. There were different commercials for the same products on that station, that I had never seen on any other station before. I thought this was extremely odd, and wondered, "Why would you do that??"

This story from my friend was echoed through the show "My Strange Addiction," when it featured a young African American girl who had a particularly dark skin tone. Her "strange addiction" was to rub bleach lotion all over her body several times a day, in order to lighten it. She said she felt very ugly because of her natural skin tone. She was 15.

Unfortunately, this kind of idea is not exclusionary to the US. I'd read a BBC article about the outrage in India over a special bleach lotion that was meant to lighten the skin in the nether-regions of women. I read several other articles afterwards that revealed that having darker skin as an Indian woman is looked down on, while having fairer skin is preferred. Bleach lotion is no stranger there. Women have been photoshopped to have lighter skin than they actually do for magazines, and I'm sure that's a practice that happens over here in the US and no one has come out to say anything about it (that I know of). Additionally, a friend of mine spent two years in China, and the paler you were, the better.

I grew up hating how pale I was. I would burn all too-easy, and I felt like a ghost compared to tan friends. I hated my freckles. Just like tan bodies are preferred for white women, I guess lighter versions of dark complexions are perceived as being preferred for black women. I don't understand this, and I think it's outrageous. Why is it that women can't just be who they are, and be seen as intelligent, authentic, beautiful, and loved? Thankfully, I've gotten over my complex of wanting to be tan, and I rather enjoy each and every freckle that is evidence that I really do have melanin in my skin.

I'm sure that if Michele Obama went with her natural hair texture and style, the right-wingers would still not be pleased, and proclaim that she is dirty and go further to say that Obama's administration and presidency is somehow wild and uncontrolled. Because of some crazy logic that ties together the First Lady's appearance with political virility and authenticity of the President.

Now, my hope is that no one who is African American would be offended by my thoughts. If anything I would very much like to be corrected where I need to be; I prefer to know where I am wrong than continue living in some ignorant bubble based on what I've seen/heard through the lives of others. Please contribute your thoughts!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Gift-giving and Church Folks

For the past few months I've been reading a book I acquired a long time ago, The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World by Lewis Hyde. It's been a few months because although the book has maintained my interest pretty well, I've only been reading it during my lunch breaks at work; I'm also easily distracted by so many other things, like BBC News and Etsy and trying to find something creative to physically do with my hands.

I picked it up again today, and finished a chapter titled Usury: A History of Gift Exchange, and I remembered that I wanted to write a blog about this chapter once I finished it. So, here goes.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Twenty-Nine, Day 3: There's much to be done!

I just turned 29 on Tuesday, and although I like not making a big deal out of my birthday I'm pretty excited to be that much closer to exiting my 20s. I don't know too many people who feel or have felt the same way. I never quite understood why people nearing 30 years of age seem to have a quiet edge of lament when telling their age, lacing into the conversation about how they are getting old. Although it would seem that women primarily dread this age, I've taken note of several male friends who also seem to dislike the idea that they're approaching or have reached that particular age.

From what I can tell, turning 30 does not magically turn you into a grandma, like Cindarella changing back into a maid at the stroke of midnight. Thankfully.

I generally tend to be reflective about how the previous year of my life went when my birthday comes around; it doesn't help that it falls so shortly after the start of the New Year, too. This year was ... interesting, to say the least. It involved unemployment for both myself and my husband (well he was really technically self-employed for a hot minute), and then regaining employment. Much of this past year swirled around work, so there wasn't a lot of room for anything else. However, God provided better employment than what I was doing previously. Sure, it's boring. Sure, I sit in front of a computer all day. But I try to remind myself that although this isn't exactly what I want to be doing (far from it), it is something God provided to take care of us. I'm glad to be starting another year of life and have a more positive view of the horizon than I did at the beginning of last year.

Even though I posted my bucket list previously, I decided I should probably make an actual post of if, rather than just throw it out there like a wet noodle with no life and no prospect of being exciting. I was uninspired. I'm feeling better about revisiting the list and revamping it. Many things on the original list involve money that I do not have or in the near future anticipate being able to afford. I started this list in February of 2011, so you could say some things have changed since then.

Here's what I've done so far from the list:

1. Have a grown-up bed, and not a loft bed  - Half the battle done, since we don't have a loft bed anymore.

2. Have a consistent exercise/yoga routine - I did yoga consistently for a summer and fall

3. Do a professional photo shoot with hubby.  - All thanks to Katie Harnish! Woo!

4. Find a way to make art and make money in a consistent way - It's through crafting things and selling artwork randomly, but it seems to be working.

5. Cook for others, and with others, more.  - Not consistent, but we did host Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner this year. I look forward to doing that more.

6. Be less cynical.  - I *think* I'm better at this? Life changes have made me more optimistic about the future, however tumultuous it appears to be!

7. Have a mini-garden... or be a part of a co-op. - I didn't have a mini-garden, but the unedible plant in my office seems to be living and doing very well. I'm counting it. This will be moved to another list whenever we happen to gain a house.


Here's what I sort-of did, but could use improvement, so they kind-of count:

1. Visit my brother more. - I realized that this particular task involves a third person beyond myself, whose schedule I have no control over. Tricky.

2. Have a healthier diet / eat less processed foods. - We were kind of doing well with this, before employment got all messed up, and before the holidays. I need to get back on this.

3. VOLUNTEER!!



Here's what I want to accomplish (REVISED) this time next year, 2014, with the rest of my 30 items:

1. Go Camping - I'm looking forward to this because we got a tent for Christmas AND I got a camp stove for my birthday! We need to take a trip to an EMS to get sleeping bags...

2. Get a professional massage - My friends Katy and Erin got me a massage gift certificate for my birthday!!! YAY!

3. Do an MS Walk - This is kind of in the works. There's an MS Walk coming up in Philadelphia in the beginning of May, and I just need to sign up. Sign up, and then walk. And THEN I can cross this off the list.

4. Ride a bike in the city - This seems lame, buuut I'm still terrified to do it, which means I should do it. Again, Katy and Erin may have to come to the rescue to get this done...

5. Go on a legit picnic, basket and all

6. Go on a Philadelphia Tour of some kind, because I've lived here for 6 years and I'd like to learn something about the history of where I live.


7. Go somewhere outside of the US - Canada is looking like the least expensive option. Niagra Falls?? Maybe a pre-emptive 30th birthday adventure... That gives me a whole year to figure it out (especially since I don't have a passport).

8. Now that I'm thinking about it, Get a Passport should be on this list.
9. Take a self-defense class
10. Take an art class of some kind - There's an open drawing studio coming up.. hmm...

11. Pursue getting into art shows again - I kind of fell off this boat and into a black hole last year.

12. Make my artspace at home more conducive to art making - I started!! I just need to finish. SOON.

13. Go to a city I have never been to before - This shouldn't be that hard, right? There aren't too many cities that I've been to, so there are all kinds of options.  

14. Participate in an Improve Everywhere event - I don't know, it could be fun. And totally outside of what I would normally be comfortable doing.

15. Participate in the Sketchbook Project 

16. Start making a comic revolving around our cats, Autumn and Tobias - This is replacing the idea I had to start writing a book, because drawing my cats having adventures is more fun, and in theory easier to accomplish.

17. Get back into writing in my prayer journal - I used to do this obsessively when I was in college and shortly after I graduated I stopped. I think this will help me be more thankful and see where God has been working in my life.

18. Participate in a print-exchange again - I so miss printmaking. Ugh.

19. Go fishing - OK, I'm not dead set on going fishing but I'd kind of like to catch a fish. Any time I went as a kid (all of maybe four times), I didn't catch anything. Who can I go fishing with?? An acceptable and unrelated alternative to this one is to Ride A Horse, since it's been a long time.

20. Seriously pursue having kids



BONUS!

One awesome thing that I thought of while writing this list, but decided not to add, was to pet a tiger, or some sort of wildcat. This is a bonus because I realize this is a 1) potentially dangerous activity; 2) probably expensive. I don't know if it's even a possibility unless you have a vault full of money you can dive into like a ballpit.



Soooo okay! Let's do this thing!

Thursday, January 03, 2013

Oh yeah, I had a Bucket List..

In light of being 28 years and 359 days old (or, 6 days shy of turning 29), I figured I would revisit my "30 Things to Do Before I turn 30" bucket list. It looks like I have a lot to do within the next year.

    1. Live in a place with free laundry - I don't think we'll be moving any time soon...so not sure how this is going to work out.

2. Have a grown-up bed, and not a loft bed We put the mattress on our old futon frame. Not a "grown-up bed" but not a loft anymore! That's half the battle. I'm counting this.

3. Have an art studio again.

4. Seriously pursue having kids

5. Have a consistent exercise/yoga routine - I did yoga consistently for a summer and fall. Does that count?
6. Take a self-defense class

7. Take an art course in SOMEthing again -- Although I'd be happy to take a class in anything, what I really want to learn is encaustic painting.

8. Be more at peace with myself and have more joy. - This is not a super solid goal, and really I'm not sure it has a place on a list like this since it's really something I should always be striving for throughout life. I'll have to think of something else that can go here...

9. Go somewhere outside of the US (even just Canada or Mexico)

10. Write at least a draft for the book I've been thinking about. - This needs more structure. I may later change it to something else, since I haven't even begun writing anything.

11. Do a professional photo shoot with hubby. Thanks, Katie Harnish!! I'll share your website as soon as it's finished. :)

12. Own a professional digital camera

13. Find a way to make art & make money in a consistent way - Still looking promising. It's through crafting things and selling artwork randomly, but it seems to be working.

14. Take Spanish classes that will actually be useful in the real world

15. Join an art collective with friends

16. Cook for others, and with others, more. Not consistent, but we did host Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner this year. I look forward to doing that more.

17. Volunteer. - I volunteered with an arts-and-crafts afterschool program for a little while, but there are some opportunities on the horizon for this year.

18. Ideally, live in a house instead of an apartment. - See #1.

19. Have a healthier diet / eat less processed foods - I could probably be doing better, still, especially after the holidays. But we were doing pretty well for a while there.
20.  Learn Archery, or at least something like it. I've always been fascinated with bows & arrows, and used to make toy ones out of saplings when I was little. Wouldn't mind fiddling with that again.

21. Ride a bike in the city - no, really.

22. Have better posture or work on my posture.

23. Be less cynical.  - I *think* I'm better at this? Life changes have made me more optimistic about the future, however tumultuous it appears to be!

24. Get a professional massage, or have Scott take a massage class. I'm thinking the former is cheaper. Okay, really, I just want to go get a pro massage.

25. Visit my brother more. - It'd been a while since I saw my brother last, but I realized this is tricky when the other part of this is coordinating with someone who might not get back to you for a month.

26. Go camping again (it's been a long time!) - We got a tent for Christmas! All that much closer to camping!

27. Have a mini-garden... or be a part of a co-op.  Part of this would be to learn HOW to garden. -- I have some herbs growing on the window-sill?? -- The herbs growing on my window-sill died. The cactus that was sunning on the window-sill also died. But I have a spider plant that seems to be doing well there... I can't eat it, but it's something? Is that cheating?

28. Go on a Philadelphia Tour, because I don't know jack about the city I live in.

29. Go on a legit picnic, basket and all.

30. Go to the Empire State Building

    ... Looking at the list again, I think it needs an overhaul. Particularly when it comes to things that involve moving or the like.